He leans over my shoulder and all I can do is lean back into his body. I feel a resistance at first, the same hesitation from before. I press my mouth into his. I want to imprint myself onto his being so he won’t be able to push me away.
But he doesn’t even try. The kisses are like candy. A sweetness. A hunger. I can’t get enough. I am opening up. Every inch filling up with him until we are sharing the same breath, the same heartbeat. Hours, maybe years, pass and we are on his bed, lying side by side in the dark. Everything by touch. I begin to pull ay my clothes. I want to know what it’s like. Skin against bare skin. But his hands steady me. His fingers work carefully at the buttons of my shirt and my jeans, his mouth kidding the places that have been revealed, finally releasing me, pale and new and waiting.
I hold my hands against my chest, suddenly shy. Unsure what to do next.
He stops immediately. His fingers caress my face and he looks into my eyes. I am sharing just a little. I can’t find my voice but I not my head.
Yes. This is what I want. Yes.
He takes my hands and gently moves them down, onto his body. I close my eyes. Everything by touch. Fragile and smooth. Magic. A sharp pain. My breath catches in my throat and then a warmth rippling, building. All at once I am hot and cold and I can’t get close enough. Skin upon skin. Fire and ice. Every inch of me trembling inside this new sensation. I want to cry out but I put my mouth onto his neck, biting down. I want to merge our blood, become one inside this heat spreading out, flooding out in waves. An ocean of fire and blood, crashing inside me.
An then there is quiet. He lets me down gently against the pillow. He says my name and wraps his arms around me. I curl up against him, afraid to pull away, afraid he won’t be there if I let go. Our breathing slows, separating out again. Two different rhythms. I blink my eyes open and closed. I can see the moon through the window. A full moon, watching is with her pale moon face, bathing us in her light. I feel changed. Holy. I feel like my skin has been peeled away so that everything I touch hurts.
